Echoes in the dark

It's almost haunting to see this old place....

And I still need to finish part 2 of that dream. I still remember it :)

This evening was a Christmas party at the Y house, with a bit of a Bible study on prioritizing one's time based on the story of Lazarus. It was essentially about training yourself to think in terms of eternity. I think that when Christ said "I am the resurrection and the life" it really did point to His union with His people, and in Him we all rise. Not to sound mystical but it's almost as though since we are part of His body, as He rises we rise with Him. Lazarus was a token of that resurrection promised to believers and as united to Him we should strive to live as part of His church, different parts of the body carrying out the tasks assigned to us. However menial or insignificant it seems at times, all parts of the body are useful and all parts are employed in some way in every part of the world, bringing cleansing to it.

I've been feeling quite a bit unlike myself lately. Tonight I arrived early (accidentally) so took a walk down to the lake. It was amazing to see the ice frozen in wavy form all along the coves and large sheets had built up on the spits. I saw absolutely no one there, it was kind of lonely. I had not been to the lake since September. I sat out there for about 40 minutes, thinking and praying, something I've been doing a lot of lately. In some ways I feel as though a piece is gone and I'm left as a shell, or perhaps have drawn into a shell. In this current state I am certainly not a candidate for new friends (or old friends for that matter). Yet at the same time the only way I sense to get out of it /is/ for that to happen. A very odd conundrum indeed. I've been praying for things to become very obvious to me. It's not good for man to be alone and I realized again tonight how much I just want to say "I went on a walk down to the lake, the ice was really neat, would you like to see it?" Which doesn't really fit into conversations with normal acquaintances. To share with someone even simple things. Feeling like a recluse when I really don't want to be. Wanting to be me again!

Yet all the while confident and trusting that in due time God will provide for me more than I can imagine. It's been comforting to look back upon people like Abraham, Moses, and David and see how God was with them through their lives - even when things seemed difficult - and in the end they were given great joy and peace.

Psalm 128
"Happy are all who fear the LORD, who walk in the ways of God. What your hands provide you will enjoy; you will be happy and prosper: Like a fruitful vine your wife within your home, Like olive plants your children around your table. Just so will they be blessed who fear the LORD. May the LORD bless you from Zion, all the days of your life That you may share Jerusalem's joy and live to see your children's children. Peace upon Israel!"