"Three Topics To Think (upon)" of which this is the third.

The third topic for this evening also comes from Edwards initially, but from other books as well. It has to do with marriage.

First, I was reading a little bit of Edwards' life and it mentioned that he had died of an experimental smallpox shot. He was away from his family and as he lay dying, he gave this message for his wife:

"Give my kindest love to my dear wife, and tell her that the uncommon union which has so long subsisted between us has been of such a nature as I trust is spiritual and therefore will continue forever."

This was considerably edifying to me. I had often wondered about the marriage bond. Truly the Sons of God in heaven are not given in marriage, but I've had a desire for a longer relationship than simply one that is on this earth. Please don't mistake me, the idea of heaven is not to be with our friends and family, the idea is to be with Christ! I imagine that all other affections will certainly pale in comparison to that which we will have for Christ, quite possibly one won't even be looking at anyone else. At the same time, wouldn't it be joyful to see someone you have spent your life with, sharing the shadows of Christ and helping them to grow, nurturing them in the faith, to finally be made perfect and complete and wonderfully like Christ themselves? It almost seems that the only thing better than experiencing that yourself, is sharing that experience with a spouse.

Of course I am unmarried, but is still something I'd thought about. The encouraging thing was that Edwards had that hope, and I think I may as well. There does seem to be a spiritual bond in marriage that is a good gift of God.

Edwards would often ride out into the fields with his wife, Sarah, to spend time alone with her. For someone who was so busy constantly, this must have taken tremendous discipline, especially with all their children! I imagine that this got easier as their eldest grew old enough to look after the rest ;)

It reminded me of what I was hearing when I was listening to J I Packer's lectures on the Puritans earlier this week. They are available for free on iTunes if anyone wants to look for them, just search for "Puritans." Not many results come up so it should be easy to find! Anyway, the last couple of lectures brushed on the family life of the Puritans, and marriage especially. In an age where women were often put down, coming out of the Dark Ages, the Puritans stood as a shining light. They saw their wives as a companion, and Matthew Henry used the description which seems to have originated with Augustine, that the woman "was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved." Indeed, the woman needed the man, but the man needed the woman perhaps even more. It is in his nature to desire to look after his wife and see her grow in grace and beauty. On the other hand, she wonderfully complements him by adding a bit of tenderness where he is more rough. Such a wonderful thing this is that God has done, that those who labour by themselves are sometimes inadequate for the task and that often the case is that when two Christians are yoked together and pull together in the same direction, the result is much more than the sum of their individual labours.

They were very good lectures, and were very beneficial and encouraging to me. I think today that it has turned into something more like two people living together rather than two Christian's working and honouring God together. The glory of the man is his wife, whom he delights in, and the glory of the woman is the man whom she trusts in. There is confidence, mutual help and growth, love, and protection that is not to be compared with in this world. Packer said that some of the earlier church men thought that women were subservient and that a man's true confident and best friend had to be someone of his own sex, and they appealed to the case of Jonathan and David. On the other hand, the Puritans believed that the wife (or husband) was to be the bosom friend, a good gift of God and a confident and companion like no other.

I am thankful to see the godly marriages in my church, the mutual respect and love. Oh, no life is perfect and there are some times that are harder than others, but on the whole, God has definitely blessed the families that I see around me, and I'm thankful for that. Mom and Dad, I'm thankful for your marriage as well and I do hope that it grows deeper and more rich with every passing year.

But now I've exhausted my time. I should go now. I have at least one other topic that I'd like to talk on soon, but it's much less profitable than these were (profitable to me at any rate) so I'll save that for later.